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248 Ways To Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is “to go.”
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”
4. Name your dog “Dog.”
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
6. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”[More]

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November 12, 2006 - Posted by | Funny, How To

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